Gun shot stories and eating with friends

I can't stress this enough...two things actually. I am by no means a saint, or really even that great of a person. That's number one....let me repeat....I am a real shit head sometimes, and by no means do I intend to come off as anything more. Number 2: we don't take care of people enough. I know there are a multitude of events that can lead to someone living on the streets, I'm not naïve to think we can end homelessness, but we can be a lot more available to people and help when we can. It doesn't have to be money, get creative and think about how you can help...even if its just once. I really believe that the best way to be happy is to help make those around you happy. I studied it in the Dharma, and again in the Gospels. People are happiest when everyone is taken care of and helping each other. But there are always going to be tough times, I was reminded today the importance of helping each other out.

There are places around town that have areas where people live on the streets, and I notice some of the same people around the places we eat regularly. I thought it would be a great learning opportunity this month to take people out to lunch or dinner and hear their stories. One of the downsides is that I am starting to get a little stalker-ish . I find myself cruising the neighbor before stopping to eat, or sometimes I will park and walk around for a little bit normal to see if I come across anyone I can chat with who happens to live on the street. This weekend I met D. D was a VERY interesting guy. He was looking like he had a rough night, and told me he had a long way left to walk home. What he preferred was that I give him 4 dollars, but was appreciative of getting something to eat. Along the way to grab a bite at Jimmy Johns, we stopped when D ran into an old high school buddy. To make a long story short, D and his buddy start telling me some crazy stories about getting shot. His friend starts showing us his fresh scars, staples still intact, and then D started taking off his shirt to show a huge scar down the front of his whole torso/belly. I am listening to the crazy stuff that happened to these guys, and part way through the conversation, I realize all the other pedestrians are walking past us with some serious looks of "what the F" mixed with a little fear. And then I realized I was a part of the scary group.

I started to play the stories in my head of what I thought the other people could be thinking. Not about D and his buddy, but about ME. I don’t really blame them. I mean…the beard, the old jeans, dirty hat, the same boyish good looks as that criminal that made a big splash on the internet…I scream street person (at least today). Then it became a bit funny to me. How these people (assuming they are half as judgmental as I can be on a good day) could have made up their own stories about me, and how I should get off the street, get a job...yet how far from reality that would have been. I realized all of us at some point have done the same thing...and had likely been way off from the actual reality of the situation.

Imagine how many times we have walked past a group of people on the street and assumed the worst about someone. Probably caused us to cross the street a little early, or went out of our way to avoid the group of people. Maybe they don’t notice it, but maybe ey do, and maybe it would brighten the hell out of their day if more people said hello. I can tell you, I am getting more and more comfortable talking with some of the people on the streets. I’m not as afraid to ask questions now, and I’m learning some valuable lessons. Most people seem to reciprocate with a nice smile back, some say hi, one guy mumbled something inaudible under his breath.

So D and I had lunch, but he had to run before I finished my food. It couldn’t have been five minutes later, as I’m eating, 2 guys come in and ask me if I was the guy buying lunch. They told me they wouldn’t say who told them, but they were told the guy with the red beard in JJ’s was buying people food. One guy was in a wheel chair, and the other looked like he woke up on the ground…turns out he did. I told them as long as they didn’t go around telling everyone I was the bearded guy buying lunch, lunch was on me. We sat and talked a good 30 minutes. The man in the wheelchair went by "coronel Ben" and his buddy whose name I have forgotten (steve? Maybe?).

Coronel told me he used to do mission work overseas with his wife when she got sick. Before she died of leukemia a number of years back, they moved back to Kentucky for treatment, and the medical bills did him in. He was on the street for a couple of years before he lost his leg to frost bite, sleeping outside during the winter. He told me he finally has his shit back together. He works for a local homeless shelter now and they give him lodging across town. His friend Steve was extremely appreciative the whole meal. Turns out he was a fellow Illinoisan, who traveled to Kentucky to follow the love of his life. He told me he had been a street person for quite a while. Steve helps out Coronel Ben by pushing him around where he needs to go. Coronel Ben helps make sure Steve stays out of trouble and translates things for him, as Steve cannot read. (friends helping friends...I knew already I was going to like these guys) He kept telling Coronel that good things happen to good people, and was really shocked that someone would buy him lunch for no reason. It's was an equally sad/good feeling watching someone get so excited/emotional over a sandwich.

Steve says he can sometimes make up to $15 a day, but it’s not uncommon for the folks who live on the street to give each other a few bucks when they need it. He told me the meal at JJ’s was good karma because he had been trying to do the best he could with what he was given. He tries to give to his fellow street people, and he said there is a woman he tries to make sure gets something to eat everyday. He had a lot of good advice, he made sure to drive this point home: Quit giving the fucking homeless donuts! Steve says more people need better/nutritious food. I never expected to meet a foodie street person.

But, I also realize it’s a possibility these guys made it all up. Maybe it was all a story. Even if it was all made up, I'm so happy I had the opportunity to hang out with these guys. They taught me a lot about life on the streets, and gave me a lot of laughs for the day. A lot of people argue that "these people" are a bunch of bad eggs, Steve says its about 2-10% of the homeless population. He also warned that those 2-10% are really bad people, and when you get a slight inclination that you are with a bad egg...don't second guess your instinct and get the hell away from them.

I think its common to project negative stereotypes onto people who are thought to be somehow less important than we are. The problem isn’t just the stereotype, the problem is we think the some people are somehow less important. I live Steve's idea about eating better foods, and it makes me happy to see others eat better, so for now I'll keep trying to feed anyone that needs something good to eat.

the happy and the homeless...sometimes one in the same.

Hello internet-land.  This month’s community focus is on homelessness.  I wanted to take a break from the understanding of religion for a bit and focus on another really important part of any community.  After digging into religion a bit more, I’m happy to be back to chopping wood and carrying water.  It’s nice to be able to put the purpose into practice more than the past few months of studying and listening.  After my time of trying to understand Christianity, I see a lot of similarities between it and Buddhism.  A common theme, is taking care of one another, and this month will put that to the test.

Side note: June was a really great month.  We were fortunate enough to be able to meet up with family and friends, and relax and explore Colorado and Utah.  I was really hoping to start my homeless focused month in June, but knew because of vacation I would have limited time to spend planning, participating, and helping.  So this month I decided to devote time to helping out the homeless, and others who need a little help.  I am hoping to be able to get some perspective by hanging out and visiting with my fellow Lexingtonians.  I hope to get some perspective on the different ways we can help the homeless in/around the neighborhood.

So far, the stories are usually sad, but sometimes really great.  I had lunch with a really nice guy, Tom, last week.  He cruises around town in a bicycle he converted to run on gasoline.  He helps support himself by playing an electric guitar with an amp ran off a 9V battery.  Tom has an excellent outlook on life, at least from what I can tell from our chat, despite the fact he has no place to call home.  When you think about the Toms in the world you have to really appreciate how lucky we are.   I never think twice about having enough to eat, where I am going to sleep, or how I am going to afford to get around town.  Yet I find myself getting frustrated at the little, insignificant things in life.  I’m sure Tom gets frustrated too, but here he is taking a beating from life and circumstances, all while managing to keep a big smile on his face.  High-five Tom, high five. (full disclosure:  Tom and I did not, in fact, high five....yet)

I’m glad to have met Tom to help remind me that despite all the shit life is giving us, we can still choose to smile.  I’m also reminded that some people have it really rough, and it’s our job to help bring them up.  Sometimes I can’t buy someone something to eat, but sometimes I can, so why not?  I’ve gone back and forth about the best way to “deal with homeless people”.  Should we give them money?  Will they spend it on booze?  We've all heard/said: I’m not going to give those lazy people any money! It’s a personal decision, but I keep coming around the fact that it’s not about what I think anyway, so just give if you can.  I can only help what I do, but I think food and clothes are basic things everyone should have.  Drunk or not, I can't think of anyone who doesn't deserve a healthy meal or some clean clothes every once in a while.

There are a lot of ideas about how I can help out this month.  I have started using my cup holder as my change-to-give-away holder.  I have actually seen the same guy quite a few times on my way home from work, and he seems appreciative every single time.  I feel bad because I always ask his name, but can never remember it…I can’t even think of it now.  But we usually have a little chat, and he has told me he can usually find a place to sleep at his friends, but uses the money for food.  I used to be cynical towards this type of situation.   I always “knew” that person was going to get drunk off my hard earned money.  Maybe this guy is doing the same thing, but maybe he isn’t.  Maybe he actually uses it to eat, and maybe he eats better than me, I know if it was me…I’d make sure I had enough to eat and THEN buy some beer.  But to each their own is how it goes.  So let me work on trying to be a better me.  And to do that, I need to get better at giving; I just gotta make sure to keep that judgement stuff at the door.

I’m excited about the new people I will meet along the way this month, and I am really looking forward to seeing what I can do to help a little more.  Tom told me about a guy in town who works as a pharmacist at the local hospital.  He picks up Tom and another half dozen people 2 Fridays a month and takes the group of guys to his house where they hold a bible study and he lets everyone shower at his house.  I’m so happy to have people like this living in town.  Fortunately, Tom was able to give me his number, and I hope he doesn't mind me hanging out some Friday.

 

Till next time kids.  If you think about it this month, do me a favor and try and give a smile or say "hi" to someone less fortunate.  I can't say how they will react, but I would bet if brightens your day.