As it came to an end, I realized how wrong my perception of being homeless was. I've learned some people hate living on the streets while others choose that path. Some are happy, others not so much. Some want help, others feel bad asking for it. Looking back, it's silly to think it would be any other way. I mean, people are people. Assholes make a choice to be assholes, grateful people make a choice to be grateful. Being homeless is just another factor of who we are (or aren't). Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't wish some of the stories I heard on anybody, but life is what is it and things happen. It was great seeing how people are able to turn bad situations and find the silver lining. That, my friends, is what its all about.
Last month I had the pleasure of volunteering at the Hope Center. Its a pretty cool organization. They do a lot of good for the needy people of Lexington. They offer housing, a hot meal at dinner and lunch. They also have a van that drives around town to local churches to hand out sandwiches throughout the week. While there, a lot of stereotypes were shattered.
1. There was going to be a disconnect between volunteers the people coming to eat. Not even close. Although I did feel out of place wearing and self conscious about wearing my dress clothes from work. The majority of the kitchen staff were residents of the Jacobs house (which is a part of the Hope Centers services) which is a house for men recovering from substance abuse. I thought it was pretty cool, and a great experience, for these men to give back to the community while they are going through a lot themselves.
One of the guys volunteering on the line with me was a former "graduate" of the addiction program. It took him 2 rounds to stay clean, but assured me there would be no 3rd time. He was so great to work with. He filled me in on everything the Hope Center does around town. He was given a maintenance job with the Center after completing his time in rehab, and now runs the grounds crew year round. I got the feeling that he was a great mentor. Super easy to talk to and he knew just what to say to the folks coming in for a meal to get a smile. I on the other hand, didn't have that quality.
2. These folks were going to be gross and dirty freeloaders. Mostly not true. There were a handful of people with visible uncleanliness, but honestly, the majority of the people were everyday folks. I found out that a lot of these folks have some sort of income, but not enough to live on. It was eye opening to see people with jobs, men who worked to support family, and of course, people without homes coming together to get a hot meal. A good majority of the people said thanks as they came through the line, about half made sure to say thanks as they left.
As the crowd dwindled, and I was told I could head home, I kinda felt like "that's it?" Don't get me wrong, it was great being involved with something like that, but I felt a little bummed that I got to go home to a meal quite a bit nicer than breaded meat, heated vegetables and a roll. I felt guilty for not doing this before. It seemed silly that every day we throw away more shit than we can count while others are barely scraping by.
I also know that there is only so much you can do. Maybe I felt bad for being more of an idealistic talking soapbox than a "walking the walk" kind of guy. Maybe feeling that way isn't such a bad thing...trying to be better is nothing more than putting one foot in front of the other. Keep on keeping on, as they say. It's interesting how the idea of perseverance and getting through hard times is a highly valued trait in todays world...unless you don't have a place to call home.
I mean, a lot of people are struggling to get by everyday. Imagine hearing a story about a man digging in dumpsters to pay off his mortgage and college tuition, shit, we might think they were saints. But take away that house and now you are a detriment to society? Forget the fact that you might generally be a good person, trying to do the best you can with life's circumstances, working on improving your situation, and yet some just call them all "freeloaders". Productive right? Seems that perception holds more weight than reality.
Obviously, some are trying to get by with doing as little work as possible. What I have seen is the people that dig through dumpsters for food, or cans for money; the woman who stands all day in the hot sun asking for help; the man playing a broke ass guitar for a bite to eat; they all work a lot harder than me. Seriously, give them a chance. Let them prove it to you they are worthy of a hot meal, or a high-five, or anything you were going to throw away anyway. If you give them a chance, you might be surprised.
I think a helpful step in the right direction is to understand that we are a couple of mishaps away from being in their position. All of us, every single one of us. I'm trying to keep an open mind, I want to see the good in people, but sometimes its really hard. I've heard practice makes perfect, so that's what I'm shooting for. I need to keep practicing compassion...We need to keep practicing compassion. It's not going to come from any religion...not that it can't, and not because there aren't good people doing their best to make it happen, but because it needs to be accepted across the board, and we seem to struggle finding common ground between different faiths.
Compassion comes from you, me, and us. Maybe you learn it from your faith, or your family, but it does no good unless you practice it. And not just every once in a while, or when you feel like you need a pick-me-up...but every time you think about it. It needs to be something we do AND something we teach. To our kids, to our neighbors, to strangers...to people who need it, and those who aren't looking for it.
Side note: My son Rowan was not pleased when I gave his bread to someone in need around our neighborhood. He will learn someday...hopefully. And not because I don't intend to practice what I preach, but because that kid has a serious love for Panera.
We need to do it because its the right thing. It's the right thing for the right now, and hopefully this whole compassion thing will really take off in a few generations.
Soap box over.
For now.
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